Nothing assinine about it

Just wanted to post this before I took off for a run in forest park

















I really like fall in STL.

?

This is another instance where, one of these things is not like the other. One day when I got home from a run back in September, I flipped on MTV to see if they were playing quality television (Ed note: Real World Rules Challenge: The Ruins) and just so happened to come across Randy Jackson's America's Best Dance Crew. Now, don't get me wrong I like to watch a good hip hop number every once in a while, but usually this show is a Snoozer (with a capital S).

It was a snoozer until the camera panned the crowd and came across this:



(motion of "hold the phone....shift it back") ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Not even 4 weeks after hauling your ass out of a North Korean labor prison, you show up in the audience of RANDY JACKSON'S AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW watching people crump it up to "Single Ladies"!?!?!?!? She better have been paid for this appearance. Heavily.

Kidding me?

It's too early for this crap:




-- Posted from my iPhone

Vegas Clubs

Just got home from a solid 9 days of being out of town. Needless to say, once entering 3721, I cried tears of DVR joy! I've been in Minnesota and Iowa for 9 days too many for work and was growing a little tired and agitated. Therefore, when you come across something that's too good to be true, once must document it.

That something is an Iowa-based(?) gas station named:



Kum & Go? Really?

Upon first glance of this, I had a big laugh to myself thinking of my friend Kate's idea of a Vegas-style nightclub entitled "Cum" or "Kum." (Spelling depends on your level of class). Look for it to open up in the bottom of Steve Wynn's new joint next year...

Anywho's, glad to be back and hope to keep the posts a "Kum"ing. (too easy).

Too good

So I was on my flight on Tuesday headed to Minneapolis and came across an oddball couple. They were kind of pushy when stowing away their carry-on, but I let it slide.

Then this happened at baggage claim...




Yes, ladies and gents, while standing and waiting for their bags, they both put on respective Mickey and Minnie mouse ears. Replete with a top hat and veil. They then picked up said bags and went on their merry way...

Unless there was a Disney convention, please explain the warped reasoning for this.

Things that make you go "what the...."

So finished up with my haircut on Sunday in a great mood (save the parking ticket I got for leaving my car 15 min outside Starbucks. F.) Anywho's...on my way back home and come across this beaut...





Please take note of the painted on ice cream sandwich and the moniker "cAnDy LadY" slapped on the backside. Really no comment needs to be made.

But, if you see this batshit crazy lady roll up into your hood, please empty out your pockets and buy a couple of drumsticks for the kiddos (that will most likely be laced with roofies and barbiturates)!

Enjoy!


-- Posted from my iPhone

Ode to cake

Reporting from Kansas City here...

I will always stand by the notion that "women are stupid, horny and like to eat cake."

On that note, when I was at Halls in Kansas City for work, I couldn't help but notice the cupcake case as I walked by.

So behold female readers, be ready to get all hot and bothered...





(deep breaths, deep breaths. Inhale into a paper bag if you must.)

I chose the chocolate peanut butter on the left. And it was banging. I'm sure I'll be hitting up this place again...

-- Post From My iPhone

SF frame of mind...

After talking with Kate on the phone for a good while last night, and Bridget pouring salt in the wound by posting her pics of her latest jaunt to the Golden Gate vicinity, I couldn't help but wish I could relive my trip to SF.

Basically, at a time of great unemployment (month 4 of 6), I was living it up by visiting iconic TV landmarks:

[Fig.1]



Hanging out with some true friends:

[Fig. 2]


And mother F$%& the police, if the paparazzi didn't show up:

[Fig. 3]


Last one, but the reason for the season:

[Fig. 4]


Here's to hoping I can return soon....with chocolate in tow.

I've been right all along...

Came across this article in Time magazine a couple weeks ago. Further proves my theory that sometimes, "fucking shitballs!!!!!!!!!!" is the perfect medicine...





-- Post From My iPhone

I'm back

Well, I have returned from my tropical vacation from Cabo San Lucas. Hence, the lack of blog posts. It was absolutely amazing. I'll be sure to post pictures soon.

The one thing that gets me through the day is my Lands End rock formation I have perched on my desk. Still let's me hold on to that last shred of vacation during the work day doldrums...





-- Post From My iPhone

The judge leaving us tonight is....

After news broke last week that toothpaste spokesperson Ryan Seacrest inked $15 million per season, and 'no personality' Kara DioGuardi would be coming back for AI's 9th season, the fate rested in Paula's hands.

Well, after what I assume were serious contract negotiations from Paula's camp that included stipulations like "fish bowls filled with uppers & downers and everything in between" in the green room, she is leaving us.

No longer will we have the batshit crazy comments that we have grown to love/hate/scratch our head over. So in honor of her departure, I pulled a classic interview from the YouTube vaults that I'm sure will garner a chuckle. For the real meat, please reference 2:22...

Towel Choices

Sooooo.....as the date nears for the big departure to Cabo San Lucas for vacation this Sunday *collective eye roll from the crowd* I realized I don't have a beach towel to call my own. So a trip to 'Turgit' ensued. Below were my choices...





I'm thinking that the Tink towel in the upper left hand corner screams "chick magnet." No?

Luckily enough, two aisles down, there were clearance ones on sale... (That the checkout lady so conveniently forgot to scan. Woops)

-- Post From My iPhone

Blackthorn Pub

An STL establishment two doors down from the apt.




I really like the simplicity of small business ownership.

-- Post From My iPhone

OJ

So...in Kansas City for work. And currently sitting at the breakfast bar at the Sheraton. And if I'm lyin' I'm dyin' but Sheraton has the best orange juice I've ever had. I could be hooked up to an IV with this shit.

Here's to hoping it wards off Sunday Blues.



-- Post From My iPhone

Giving truth to the song "Smile"

The wattage on the smile of this dog (while in a human swing, nonetheless) could power a small third world country...

Dog In Swing @ Yahoo! Video

5 Minutes of Dance per Day

Not only do I think if Dr. Seuss ruled the world, we'd be better off, but if people danced at least 5 minutes a day, they'd be a hell of a lot happier. So in honor of that, here is a clip from the "So You Think You Can Dance" show that's pretty solid. It has a very Clockwork Orange feel with the canes and as Bridget mentioned, has "Thriller" written all over it.

Shake your ass to it. NOW.

Public Transportation...

Another reason why I feel Google will rule the earth someday:

I wish I lived in a city where I could take advantage of this. So all 4 of my blog addicts out there, if you can use it... do it.

The time has come.

I'm getting my brand spankin' new iPhone 3GS tonight...more to follow.

Sucked.

I never really come across a book that I severely dislike. Usually I will find some good in it, enough to where I will recommend it to somebody. Well, not this one kiddos. Just finished Dean Koontz's "Relentless" last night. To put it plainly, the book sucked. From teleporting dogs to unexplained plot lines, it just blew...heavy chunks. Don't recommend it.

Now moving on to a book that's been sitting on the coffee table for some time that I've been looking forward to diving into: "The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet." I remember reading about it in VF a couple of months back and Stephen King wrote a nice little blurb on the back cover, so here's hoping it's good...and doesn't include a dog apparating to another car (see previous paragraph).

Agree to Disagree...

There are things in life which unite us (i.e. the Declaration of Independence, labradoodles, fountain DC's from McD's) and they're things that divide us (i.e. Michael Jackson's cause of death, Hello Kitty, Twitter, etc).

I think it's safe to say that the following video will fall in the "things that divide us" category. Granted, I laughed for a good 30 seconds into the video...and then shut my audio off. I'll let the video do the 'splainin.

Alice In Wonderland.

Wow...



Shitballs, apparently they pulled the trailer. It's debuting tomorrow at ComiCon, so it should be up after that.

New Music

I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I really pride in the fact on finding cool, new music*, that I hope everyone else will catch on to. I'd like to think this artist is just another example of my musical findingness(sp?) prowess.

It's a one man show called "Owl City." Produced and recorded by a guy named Adam Young, his stuff has a very Death Cab for Cutie feel to it. I'm not one for corny shit, but when you listen to it, you actually acquire a better outlook on the day... My personal favorite is "Fireflies"

Anyways, you be the judge. If you agree, GREAT! If not, this post never happened...


*music you shake your ass to

If Dr. Seuss Ran the World...

Well, just got home from a pretty awesome birthday dinner at the former residence (aka the place where I shared a room with a baby for a solid 8 months). Anyways, amazing food and great company. The kids ran amok and it felt like old times. They all got me a birthday card and it contained my favorite cartoon icons, Dr. Seuss characters.

In it read the great line of:

Another year older?
You ought to be proud!
You ought to get BOISTEROUS, NOISTROUS and LOUD!

This type of stuff makes my day and further proves my theory that if Dr. Seuss ran the world, we'd be a hell of a lot happier...

It's My Birthday

So...today is a day that will forever and always live in infamy, July 19. Reason being: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I have talked about starting a blog forever and I thought what better way to start off my 24th year than accomplishing a goal I've had ever since my roommate Bridget started one.

So be on the lookout for assinine posts, great YouTube finds, funny pictures and sound bites. In the meantime, "eat well and drink well - everything in moderation"